Appendicitis and friends

I don't look like a mosquito but that ward boy sprayed the mosquito killer almost over me as I laid there in the ICU of Mayo Hospital crying in pain. That was a useless attempt to kill all the mosquitoes/flies/bugs in the ward just before the professor’s visit.

I have got the best friends in the world. When I told them that I have got appendicitis, they were...err...rather happy about it. One replied, as excited as ever, 'O really??? Thank God we got some chance to serve.' The other said, 'Nice yaar, so when is the surgery? I would love to assist.' I dont know what were they happy about. As far as I am concerned I wasn’t sure whether I should be happy or not amidst all that nausea, vomiting and pain.

It was the first time I saw any operation theatre (OT) of Mayo Hospital. I had to ask the guy carrying me, 'Are you sure this is an operation theatre?' He smiled. I believed him anyways. The OT had to be occupied a considerable time before my surgery just in case some other doc might claim it, so I was there like an hour before my surgery. I lay there on the table as if I were lying on a beach, sun bathing; both hands behind my head and the legs crossed. After a little while two final year girls, wearing the OT gown popped in, giggling.
'So...its YOU who have got appendicitis??'
(Yeah...SURPRISE!!!)
'You know what, we have stayed here at this time of night specially to see your appendicectomy'
(Oh! What an honor!)
Seeing them getting on my nerves I decided to attack
'Ok you are here to see my appendicectomy, just tell me the blood supply of appendix.'
It was no wonder they could not.

I was shifted to ICU after the surgery. I had been to the ICUs of Mayo Hospital before so this time I did not have to inquire about its authenticity. Pain did not let me sleep the whole night and time seemed to have frozen. In the morning I got my first three visitor friends. They had their bags and overalls with them and were ready to attend their first lecture. The first thing they did on reaching the university was to come to the hospital and meet me. As long as they stayed, I did not feel any pain.

Then the doctor came along with his whole crew and after inquiring about my health, pain and sleep asked, 'Have you passed any wind?' Now firstly, this is a personal question and should not be asked in front of so many people. Secondly, wind is not the proper word. A real wind blows harsher and is pleasurable to others. Thirdly, I don’t keep a record of my winds. Whichever doctor came afterwards, wind was the hot topic.
'Hi, How are you? Have you passed any wind?'
(Which was good of course as it indicated that my bowels had recovered from post operative shock)

After an hour I got seven more friends and I got a reason to laugh. After an hour I got seven more friends and I got a reason to laugh. Then I was shifted in a room. Those were the same corridors where I had been walking as a doctor, seeing the misery of the patients since the beginning of third year. I was in the same corridor again but this time on a wheel chair, as a patient and this time people were staring at me. Now I knew what its like to be patient.

By night I had about 30 friends who came to visit me. They left no chance to cheer me up. One was kind enough as to offer, 'Don’t worry yaar, it was just a vestigial organ and it had no particular function. But if you still insist we will buy you a new appendix.' Another came and drew three stars, wrote 'Get well soon' and put his signature on the palm of my hand.
Now I was happy, I’m sure about it. I thought I was lucky that I got operated in Mayo Hospital, so very close to my university, King Edward! It helped me get better sooner. Believe me if you have got loving parents and good friends, a lot of them, you wont regret having appendicitis!

P.S. Thanks to my parents for everything. And special thanks to Prof. Khalid Javed for helping me getting rid of that goddamn appendix and for treating me like his own sons.

A. Shahid (published in Kemkol, King Edward Medical University's annual magazine)