Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Good Bye Bano Ji

One of my favorites that she sang, Dasht-e-tanhai by Faiz. This is one of the poems that I learned by heart and sang it in the class in Government College. :-D Our Urdu teacher would very often ask me to sing something semi classical in the class.

This is a golden video. I can recognize Ashfaq Ahmed, Amjad Islam Amjad and Ahmed Faraz among the audience. Notice Iqbal Bano's way of receiving compliments.

Monday, April 20, 2009

On having kids

I wanted to be called a father. Saad said you are an uncle, Mamoo (as if he knows what I've been doing!). Anyways their paternity is not important as long as they are being cared for properly. My peahen had been incubating five eggs and three chicks hatched out the day before. Small, plump, cute. Mommy (I've now named her Daisy) is happy and I'm happy. To name the chicks their sex had to be known, obviously and the only way chicks' sex can be determined is by palpating their genitals with the pulp of a finger which I'm not going to do by any means. So Saad and Noman suggested unisex names like Naseem, Tallat and Farrukh etc for which I'm thankful to them. I'l consider these names.

Daisy is a wise mommy. She's vigilant and takes each and every step slowly and carefully as she walks while her chicks follow her. Once she stepped on one of her chicks accidentally. She soon realized it, did not put her weight on that foot and lifted it immediately. What I'm rather flabbergasted at is the communication between the family. She produces different voices to which the chicks respond. She has a different voice on sensing danger to which the chicks respond by hiding beneath/behind her. A distinct voice on finding something eatable which is a signal for the chicks to come close to her beak and look forward to something tasty. God!



Feeding time. Scrambled egg is one of their favorites.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Bad weddings

I hate those weddings in which they create a partition between male and female guests. It kills half my purpose of going to weddings. And if the food is bad, the other half is killed too. ;-)

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Tit for tat

An Indian Colonel, one Harish Puri's letter to General Kiyani was painful and infuriating. The reply by a Pakistani was analgesic and euphoric. Here I post both the letters. They are really interesting. Note the similarity of words in both, specially in the beginning.

An open letter to General Kiyani

Dear Gen Kayani,
Sir, let me begin by recounting that old army quip that did the rounds in the immediate aftermath of World war II: To guarantee victory, an army should ideally have German generals, British officers, Indian soldiers, American equipment and Italian enemies.

A Pakistani soldier that I met in Iraq in 2004 lamented the fact that the Pakistani soldier in Kargil had been badly let down firstly by Nawaz Sharif and then by the Pakistani officers' cadre. Pakistani soldiers led by Indian officers, , he believed, would be the most fearsome combination possible. Pakistani officers, he went on to say, were more into real estate, defence housing colonies and the like.

As I look at two photographs of surrender that lie before me, I can't help recalling his words. The first is the celebrated event at Dhaka on Dec 16, 1971, which now adorns most Army messes in Delhi and Calcutta. The second, sir, is the video of a teenage girl being flogged by the Taliban in Swat -- not far, I am sure, from one of your Army check posts.

The surrender by any Army is always a sad and humiliating event. Gen Niazi surrendered in Dhaka to a professional army that had outnumbered and outfought him. No Pakistani has been able to get over that humiliation, and 16th December is remembered as a black day by the Pakistani Army and the Pakistani state. But battles are won and lost – armies know this, and having learnt their lessons, they move on.

But much more sadly, the video of the teenager being flogged represents an even more abject surrender by the Pakistani Army. The surrender in 1971, though humiliating, was not disgraceful. This time around, sir, what happened on your watch was something no Army commander should have to live through. The girl could have been your own daughter, or mine.

I have always maintained that the Pakistani Army, like its Indian counterpart, is a thoroughly professional outfit. It has fought valiantly in the three wars against India, and also accredited itself well in its UN missions abroad. It is, therefore, by no means a pushover. The instance of an Infantry unit, led by a lieutenant colonel, meekly laying down arms before 20-odd militants should have been an aberration. But this capitulation in Swat, that too so soon after your own visit to the area, is an assault on the sensibilities of any soldier. What did you tell your soldiers? What great inspirational speech did you make that made your troops back off without a murmur? Sir, I have fought insurgency in Kashmir as well as the North-East, but despite the occasional losses suffered (as is bound to be the case in counter-insurgency operations), such total surrender is unthinkable.

I have been a signaller, and it beats me how my counterparts in your Signal Corps could not locate or even jam a normal FM radio station broadcasting on a fixed frequency at fixed timings. Is there more than meets the eye?

I am told that it is difficult for your troops to "fight their own people." But you never had that problem in East Pakistan in 1971, where the atrocities committed by your own troops are well documented in the Hamoodur Rahman Commission Report. Or is it that the Bengalis were never considered "your own" people, influenced as they were by the Hindus across the border? Or is that your troops are terrified by the ruthless barbarians of the Taliban?

Sir, it is imperative that we recognise our enemy without any delay. I use the word "our" advisedly – for the Taliban threat is not far from India's borders. And the only force that can stop them from dragging Pakistan back into the Stone Age is the force that you command. In this historic moment, providence has placed a tremendous responsibility in your hands. Indeed, the fate of your nation, the future of humankind in the subcontinent rests with you. It doesn't matter if it is "my war" or "your war" – it is a war that has to be won. A desperate Swati citizen's desperate lament says it all – "Please drop an atom bomb on us and put us out of our misery!" Do not fail him, sir.

But in the gloom and the ignominy, the average Pakistani citizen has shown us that there is hope yet. The lawyers, the media, have all refused to buckle even under direct threats. It took the Taliban no less than 32 bullets to still the voice of a brave journalist. Yes, there is hope – but why don't we hear the same language from you? Look to these brave hearts, sir – and maybe we shall see the tide turn. Our prayers are with you, and the hapless people of Swat.

The New York Times predicts that Pakistan will collapse in six months. Do you want to go down in history as the man who allowed that to happen?

The writer is a retired colonel of the Indian army who lives in Pune. Email: hbpuri@hotmail.com


The response by a Pakistani.

Dear Mr. Puri,

Sir, let me begin by reminding you of the quip that made rounds all over Asia, right after the 1965 Indo-Pak war: To guarantee defeat, an army should ideally have Indian Generals, Indian Officers, Indian Soldiers, Israeli Equipment and Pakistani enemies.

An Indian Air Marshal that I personally met, told me that in the 1965 war, one Pakistani pilot, brought down 6 Indian AirForce Jets, in less than 60 seconds. Israeli Air Force pilots under Indian command, he said, would be the most hilarious combination possible. Indian Officers he argued, were more into Bollywood Actresses, Killing innocent people in Kashmir and getting their asses kicked in Mumbai by a bunch of amateurs.

As I look at the moments of numerous defeats that Indian Forces face every day in Kashmir, against a bunch of Mujahideen, with an ultra-equipped army of 700,000 troops, I can’t resist recalling his words. The second is the moment when the world witnessed in the war of 1965, the graveyard of 100, 200 no 600 Indian tanks not far from your border.

The surrender of any army is no doubt a sad and humiliating event. And to think of the signing of the Tashkent (ceasefire) agreement to end the 1965 war, after which your Prime Minister Shastri died of heart attack, entertains me with rolls of laughter. The fact that India was once again planning to attack Pakistan in 1986 (during the reign of Gen Zia-ul-Haq) under the wise leadership of Rajiv Gandhi; Rajiv Gandhi, the then PM of India, during his conference with the Indian Generals and top brass of India (to finalise the details of the attack) receives a call from Gen. Zia ul Haq where he reminds Rajiv Gandhi that he also has the copy of the file of plans lying on his (Rajiv Gandhi’s) table for discussion, and then Gen Zia flies all the way to Jaipur (and meets the Indian PM during a cricket match) to return that copy, as a courtesy to the Indian PM to remind him that we might’ve been sleeping, but we’re NOT Dead! – sometimes makes a cunning smile cross my face. That some wars are lost even before they’ve started, is not only shamefully mortifying, but a serious blow to the entire establishment; and is simply a lesson that is taught only once.

I always thought that the Indian Army was far superior to the Pakistan Army, in terms of their Artillery, Infantry, Fighter Fleet and weaponry systems (being provided to them exclusively by Israel), however, President Jiang Zheming reminded us recently in 2002, when India was once again planning to attack Pakistan – that he had never known soldiers more pusillanimous (meaning cowardly) than those that represented the Indian Army. He was of course referring to the fleeing incident of the 1962 Indo-China conflict, where Indian soldiers fled the battleground, and in their haste to “run away”, forgot their weapons, which China later returned to India (it is also said that Chinese army cleaned, polished and removed the rust of the arms being used by Indian Army before returning them). Such total surrender, disgrace, and fleeing the battleground, by men who call themselves “soldiers”, is astonishingly humiliating yet funny.

I have been an analyst, and it beats me how my counterparts in India have been unable to understand the Asamese Freedom fighters, the Kashmir Freedom Fighters, The Naxalites etc. etc. (the list may fill up a page), in over 60 years, and keep on blaming Pakistan for all their woes. Moreover, how the Hindu Extremist parties like the RSS have opened up training camps in densely populated urban areas, training Hindu extremists to burn people alive, and to bring down landmarks as significant as the Babri Masjid, without raising any eyebrows in the Government. Is there more than meets the eye?

We are told that it is tough for your army to counter “your own people”, like the extremists of Bajrang Dal, Vishwa Pareshad and RSS. Whether it be burning of thousands of Muslims alive in Gujrat, or be it the genocide of Christian minorities in Orissa, your security forces simply stand and watch the mass murder of innocent unarmed people.

Mr. Puri, it is imperative that without any further delay, we recognize our enemy. I use the word “our” advisedly because the threat of BJP (which is fully backed by the types of Narindra Modi and parties like RSS, VP and BD) coming into power in the upcoming elections – and putting our borders under serious jeopardy, is quite imminent. Additionally, your army consists of several serving officers like Col. Purohit, who exhibit hostility and hatred towards Pakistanis by bombing innocent civilians in trains (Samjhauta Express). What is more, the BJP did not mind mass murdering people in Mumbai during November last year, simply to prove its point that the Congress Govt. was a major failure, and during the upcoming elections, BJP must win. And framing the “Pakistani terrorists” was the easiest part, because a similar hostile viewpoint is maintained by a vast majority of Hindu population in India.

You remind me of one Pakistani journalist being killed by the so called Taliban Pakistan? Well, ever heard of the Journalists who were “MURDERED IN COLD BLOOD” by Israelis, not by shooting them down with bullets, but by running tanks over them. God knows how many such journalists have been run-over, murdered by Indian Extremist parties in the name of nationalistic planned killings. But believe me, there still are some sane voices in India like Arundhati Roy and Amresh Misra, and it is about time you started thinking rationally and instead of suppressing their voices, gave them some room to express their thoughts, so that BJP does not hi-jack India once again.

Ok, anecdotes aside, on a serious note:

What would you say if we asked you what took the “Indian Commandos”, the Indian NSG and the Israeli Commandos, 60 long hours to control only 10 terrorists who had hijacked Mumbai in less than 60 minutes? You were trying to save as many hostages you say eh? To avoid casualties to the max, isn’t it? Why didn’t the Indian Govt. simply drop bombs over the Taj & Oberoi hotels, (and let’s not forget the Nariman house, where your Israeli friends were busy cooking broth for Pakistan). And you shamelessly suggest we wipe off a complete region just because its got a few black sheep? Ok, it seems to us, Mr. Puri, that either you are not and have never been a part of the Indian Army, or they retired you early due to your childish, infact amusing approach towards solving problems. As to why we decided to stop the operation against these Terrorists of Swat is something beyond your comprehension, and it would be highly recommended for you to stop giving advise to people with more than twice as much experience as you might have. Haven’t you heard the phrase “it is better to remain quiet and let people think you’re a fool instead of speaking up and confirming it”.

As far as the flogging of the girl in Swat is concerned, to which you have attributed your whole letter to our General (COAS), its a fake story. Even if it were true, it is mere punishment. What do you call the burning alive of human beings? This is a far worse threat and insult to humanity than any one could imagine in the 21st century!

Not only the NYT, but the Pentagon, Tel Aviv and Delhi have also expressed their opinion of Pakistan’s collapse in next six months. It doesn’t worry us much, because the sooner we learn about our enemies, the better. Nonetheless, it also clearly tells us about the forces at work in Pakistan trying to tear it apart. But we assure you, that even if we DO break (GOD Forbid), we’ll only break into 4. Think of what will happen if BJP takes over India and starts openly suppressing all the minorities in your population of over 1 billion people. India will break into countless pieces, just like the USSR.

A nice stunt you’ve pulled there, and I completely appreciate it. I hope that you shall equally enjoy our response to your “well-versed” letter. Keep the comedy coming, this is good for the future of both Pakistan and Bharat friendship.

Yours,

Chokore Paratha

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A tree in lungs!


It's not the bronchial tree. Russian surgeons found an actual plant growing inside a man's lungs which was thought to be a carcinoma. It is believed that the man inhaled a tiny seed which germinated in the lungs. It caused severe pain and the surgeons decided to operate and there was a surprise for them. Lol. What more have you got for us mother nature? (Source)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

At Sunday market today








Thank you Mr. Chief Minister

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The bigger game - 1

These are weird times. The world is in a state of war. There are no clearly defined enemies, there's no hero, no one knows when and how will this war end.

There are two ways this war can be observed. One, through the governments' eyes as shown by popular media. This perspective is as simple as ABC: 'Taliban and Al-Qaeda attacked America on 9/11 and now America wants to take revenge and wipe them out. Taliban have been hiding and running and America and its allies has been chasing them since the war started.' Cat and mouse game (We have got a very clever mouse by the way and the cat through this perspective falls nothing short of Tom). This is the easy way out. This is all what the governments tell us and want us to believe.

The second perspective is that its the cat who is cunning and the mouse is the poor guy. Reaching this conclusion is difficult because it requires inquisitiveness, deep insight and a lot of common sense. The information is difficult to get because it doesn't get that highlighted by the media and is ignored as unimportant. It is found in bits and pieces and the puzzle has to be solved by joining the information. The outcome is usually really huge and scary. Unfortunately the so called liberals and moderates who are vigorously skeptic about traditions, orthodoxy and religion miserably fail to read between the lines when it comes to politics. They don't question, they don't ponder. They want to believe the 'cunning mouse-naive cat' theory.

9/11 drama was staged by American government/agencies. Now there is a huge bundle of evidence supporting it. I have seen at least three American documentaries proving that 9/11 was not the job of Al-Qaeda. Evidence from other countries and other Americans is additive. Every one who believes that it was done by Al-Qaeda needs to go through the evidence against it. Common sense also raises many questions to create doubt against the government presented perspective. Like: How come the CIA never knew it? How come the air traffic controlling departments couldn't notice the change in a plane's route? Why weren't the defense mechanisms mobilized until the second plane crash which took place after about 10 minutes of the first? Etc. This was done to terrorize people, so that they would give up their rights, give in to the government and the government could justify her invasion of South Asia. There was NO other way at all she could do it. So the whole war on terror becomes a lie. Now, why would she do it, I haven't been able to find one answer. Oil reserves of Iraq, deeming Pakistan and China as potential threats and reaching up to them, fear of spreading of Islam. (Speaking of Islam, 20,000 people convert to Islam in America each year according to NBC News)

(To be continued)

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Stairway to heaven

My brother specially called me from the gym to inform me about the rainbow that had adorned the sky in the evening. And I couldn't thank him enough :-)





It was actually a double rainbow. If you see closely in this photo there is another arc over the brighter one.

Tom, Dick and Harry



I don't have to think twice when it comes to a Shah Sharabeel production. His name has become synonymous with quality English theater. I run to see the play as soon as possible.

This humorous play, by Ray and Michael Cooney, is about three brothers; Tom, Dick and Harry. Tom, the wise one, is married and wants to adopt a baby. Mrs. Potter from the adoption agency is about to arrive to evaluate the family. The whole play revolves around the three brother's preparation to make a good impression on Mrs. Potter and how one after the other they get into so much trouble.

Honestly, I didn't like it a lot. Perhaps it wasn't as HUGE as his last two plays Phantom of the Opera and Bombay Dreams were. There was just one set and it continued for almost two hours without any interval. In Bombay Dreams, the musical, there were about 500 performers and huge sets and beautiful dances. While it was the biggest production I had ever seen, Phantom of the Opera had the best sets and costume. These were the two best plays. This one was just time pass.









Here is an interview of Shah Sharabeel with little clips from Bombay Dreams



OK, now I have to put a dance from Bombay Dreams too :-D This was the last one and very unexpectedly the performers threw confetti all over the audience. Shah's plays are full of surprises. In Phantom of the Opera they actually threw a large chandelier on the stage from a height which shattered the bulbs with a loud noise.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Flogging of a girl by Taliban

It was bad. Deplorable. Despicable. Abhorrent. And all the words implying this meaning. It was nauseating to see that helpless girl being whipped like that. People are disturbed, obviously, as evident from the demonstrations held by rights activists, civil society members, workers and NGOs. Asma Jahangir, Human Rights Commission Pakistan (HRCP), Commission for Peace and Human Development (CPHD) have all condemned the horrible incidence. Good, well done. That should be the spirit.

Now the terrorist attacks every day in Lahore and Islamabad and other cities and the daily drone attacks by America. No demonstrations. No HRCP. No CPHD. No Asma Jahangir. Can't they stage protests against the drone attacks too, that kill innocent civilians during marriage processions and funeral services, the suicide bombings that kill ordinary people? Why have these become acceptable? I hear that students and lawyers also protested. Thats good. But why don't they protest against drone attacks?

Just in case you are thinking these two things are unrelated, here is the comparison. It's about human beings, right? Basic human rights. Should one type of violation arouse more hatred than other? If yes, then killing is more deplorable that beating. No? Is it just Taliban phobia?

Saturday, April 4, 2009

A day with friends

Its spring vacations. We had to go out. We decided the old city. Plan was to visit Lahore Fort and offer Jumma Prayer at Badshahi Mosque.

We were sitting there in the mosque and guess what we were talking about.



There was this old man who claimed that he had done M.A in English and had been teaching the subject I forgot where. Well he was fluent in English. From his appearance it didn't look like he could speak like that. He told a little history of the mosque and then he showed this 'trick'. In a confinement of the mosque with high arched ceiling he showed that his voice could resonate. He produced voice of a particular frequency and it did resonate. People were clearly impressed and gave him a little money. Later I told my friends that I often do that in my shower which is bounded by glass.



At Eden Restaurant, Fortress



Laughing ourselves off at my place, watching video of class trip that I made. In this video: Awais, Noman, Mansoor, Tamoor, Salman, Osama, Asad, Azeem and me.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Cooking Chickpeas - the desi way

Ahhh...spring vacations...time to sit back and relax. Cooking is fun. Cooking chickpeas is ecstatic and cooking chickpeas the desi way is the best thing in culinary world (after baking and barbecue and making a steak and frying fish).
Dehydrate the fresh chickpea branches in the sun for a day so that the leaves become brittle. Light some fire with the help of wood and papers in a container and cook the branches directly over the fire until the pods are all black and fall down in the container. The fire will probably extinguish in one go. Light it again over the fallen pods and ash and cook the rest of the chickpeas. The pods will get buried in the ash and will be heated and cooked well. Then let it get cool a little and dive into the ash. Pick out the pods, open them up and there they are, fresh green warm chickpeas, ready to be gulped down.











Micheal Jackson-Mikaeel Jackson?



Really? I thought it was just a rumor.