Saturday, November 1, 2008

Professoritis

Professoritis is a mental disorder characterized by mental instability and delusions of grandeur. The person suffering is called a Professor. The literal meaning of professoritis would then be inflammation of a professor. The most prominent and distinguishing feature of this disease is arrogance. They may also exhibit rudeness and selfishness. These patients are usually found in medical colleges and hospitals and can easily be identified. If you happen to see some young people surrounding and tailing an old murky man or an old man suddenly loosing temper and slapping a young boy or an old man calling the worst names to young people or two old men bickering, you've hit a professor.

The disease can be highly contagious in some cases. For example if some professor has a beard and evil face and wicked smile, other members of the department can have beards and evil faces and wicked smiles in a very short time too. The manifestations of the disease can also vary. Just for example some professors might order the class to study CNS physiology, knowing that the class hasn't yet studied the CNS anatomy or some professor might have a problem with every book he comes across and even then not write a book of his own. Some professor might not even know how to speak and strictly order the boys not to talk to girls. Some professors can mind the students' not attending his two out of three classes and not accept other professors' attendances and fail whole of the two batches for the said reason.

With increasing severity, the person suffering from the disease is referred to as demonstrator, assistant professor, associate professor and finally professor. Some APs can ask a 1st year student in final exam to perform a practical of second year and be adamant about it.

This is one of the incurable diseases. Some people are even in favor of categorizing these patients as a separate specie.

Disclaimer: All the examples in these paragraphs are purely fictitious. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely co-incidental.

P.S. Some professors are normal, not all suffer from the disease but 99.99% do.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

hahaha..hilarious !!

Restive Mind said...

haha :D :D
I can show u typical specimens from my college too :)
btw, we are banking on u doctors to come up wd a cure !!!

Abdullah Shahid said...

We sure shall :-D